Saturday Morning Coffee

Wow, another week gone already? Well, pull up a chair!¬† Continue reading “Saturday Morning Coffee”

Advertisements

Monday Morning Grievance: Dangerous Drivers

It’s Monday and I haven’t had my coffee.

Monday Morning Grievances Logo 1

“Wait!” I hear you cry, “Didn’t you write about¬† idiotic drivers a few weeks ago? Are you too lazy to come up with new material? Have you run dry so soon?”

Fair questions, Dear Reader, but I see a distinction between an idiot driver and a dangerous driver.

The idiotic driver has the ability to change, given proper instruction and negative reinforcement motivation.

A dangerous driver, on the other hand, should quite literally not be allowed to possess a license.

Consider this experience:

I was driving to the store the other day to pick up lunch and some medication for a splitting headache most likely brought on by a sugar high and the subsequent crash (I regret nothing) when I noticed a car driving erratically.

By erratically, I mean the car was driving such that the white line dividing two lanes of traffic flowing in the same direction perfectly bisected the vehicle.

OK, that may have been a bit technical, but I couldn’t think of a way to describe it that wouldn’t result in confusion and/or the wrong image in one’s mind.

Is everyone clear? Any questions to this point?

All right then, moving on.

Not only was this car blocking two lanes of traffic, it was also traveling approximately thirty miles per hour under the speed limit; remember: this is on a busy thoroughfare.

Fun fact: as of 1 January, it is illegal in our state to impede the flow of traffic, even if one is impeding traffic by going the actual, posted speed limit.

Yes, one can be fined for obeying the law if everyone around you is breaking it. I can only imagine what this driver would face.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes, the car.

The driver finally turned off the road; unfortunately, he appeared headed toward the same restaurant I wished to patronize.

He entered the nearest entrance, once again taking up both lanes – in this case the enter lane and the exit/turn lane, nearly hitting another patron’s car head-on.

Since he was going even slower than before, I went to the second entrance and approached the order kiosk thingy. As I placed my order, said driver pulled around me and nearly took off my front fender as he merged into the drive-through lane and stopped at the window.

I heard this over the intercom:

This car just pulled up.

[indistinct chatter]

I don’t know they just pulled up to my window. What should I do? What do I tell them? I haven’t been trained for this!

As I pulled forward – making sure to keep a safe distance between myself and the other driver – the car moved away from the pick-up window and into one of those spaces usually reserved for customers whose orders take a bit longer to prepare.

You know, you’re at the window and they’ve got to wait for fresh fries or chicken or something so they ask you to pull forward and someone will bring your order out momentarily.

Anyway, the driver parked in one of those spots with the same dexterity he showed on the open road, managing to get both drivers’-side tires up on a curb approximately six inches high and slamming his fender into the front curbing.

If this is how he always drives, the suspension on that vehicle is probably ruined. Either that, or he keeps a mechanic on retainer.

A woman of an age somewhere between thirty and one hundred emerged from the car and s l o w l y made her way across the parking lot, making sure to stop in front of those cars waiting to exit the lot and get on with their afternoons.

Having just picked up my order and glad the car was no longer a menace to me, I pulled into a space away from the other driver to examine my order – this particular chain has a nasty habit of forgetting the sides of a meal; once, they even forgot half my order! Anyway, this time I was missing necessary condiments for my meal, so I was obliged to go in the store.

The woman had placed a take-out order and was departing as I picked up my missing items.

Now on the alert, I waited until they left. In my rear view mirror, I saw the car back up all the way to the building – narrowly missing two cars in the drive-thru lane – and exit the parking lot in the same manner in which he arrived: taking up both lanes.

He exited onto a side street; one of those with one lane in each direction and a turn lane. He took all three lanes to make a right-hand turn (the lane nearest him) and proceeded down the road exactly as before.

Half the car in the right-hand lane, half the car in the turn lane, and entirely a menace to those around him.

If I ever get this bad, please do the right thing and hide my keys from me. I mean, I have a hard enough time keeping track of them as it is right now; by that point in my life, it should be a simple task indeed.

What’s Annoying You Today?


Have a suggestion for a poem, photograph, or future post?

Drop a note in the prompt box!

Don’t forget to follow me on:

Facebook – where I share news stories, articles from other blogs, and various and sundry miscellany that happens to catch my eye. It’s stuff you won’t see here! Well, mostly.

Instagram – where I show you my Life in Motion and share quotes and such. The widget only shows my last three photographs – don’t you want to see them all?

Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.

Monday Morning Grievance: No Turn Signals

It’s Monday and I haven’t had my coffee.

Monday Morning Grievances Logo 1

Dear Driver In Front of Me,

I see that you’re driving a vehicle made after the 1940s. Now, I can’t see into your vehicle, so I don’t know what features you have.

Maybe you have a cd/mp3 player or satellite radio. Those things beat a cassette player / radio combo, which is still better than an 8-track, which is either marginally better than nothing at all or slightly worse than nothing – I’m really not sure on that last score.

Perhaps you have heated seats; those are going to come in very handy in the next couple of months. Even here in eastern North Carolina (USA), the winters have gotten a bit colder and slightly more brutal than in the past. Climate change, am I right?

Conceivably you have seat belts and air bags and some kind of impact protection that – depending on the year and the study – safety experts alternately claim protect us or put us in more danger. Really, you’d think they could make up their minds.

If you’re really rolling in the dough, you’ve got a movie playing device or two or three to keep your passengers quiet while you navigate the blacktop. Whatever.

However, there is one feature I know you have (see made after 1940s):

turn signals

Please use them . . . or you just might end up needing some of those safety features I just mentioned.

Not that I’d ram you on purpose, mind; I wouldn’t go to prison just to teach you a lesson.

Fate will see to that

 


 

What annoys you?

 


 

Have a suggestion for a poem, photograph, or future post?

Drop a note in the prompt box!

 

Don’t forget to follow me on:

Facebook – where I share news stories, articles from other blogs, and various and sundry miscellany that happens to catch my eye. It’s stuff you won’t see here! Well, mostly.

Instagram – where I show you my Life in Motion and share quotes and such. The widget only shows my last three photographs – don’t you want to see them all?

Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.

Sunday Snapshots

I cleaned this week; picture opportunities seldom presented themselves.

That said, here’s a glimpse of my non-cleaning activities:

Books:

 

signed last will bryn greenwoodI rediscovered my signed copy of Last Will by Bryn Greenwood.

 


 

amazing maurice educated rodents coverAnother package arrived, this one bearing The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett.

 

Food:

 

german coffee
This German coffee powered most activities this week.

 


 

last piece of pie july 2015
This was the last piece of pie [with more of that German coffee].

 

Miscellany

 

haircut july 2015
I got a haircut for the first time in three months.
This is the “after” picture; I think I accidentally deleted the “before” picture.

 


 

steering wheel

In addition to cleaning, our church’s Vacation Bible School took up most evenings.
This was my view for a good hour – or more – each night.

 


 

vbs script 2015
I took part in the skit each night; here’s a glimpse of one of the scripts.

 


 

lion head or holy grail
This decoration supposed to portray a lion.
I can’t help but see the Holy Grail surrounded by rays of light.

 


 

Coffee and the Holy Grail
Obviously, the Grail contains coffee.

 


 

What did you do this week?

 


 

Have a suggestion for a poem, photograph, or future post?

Drop a note in the prompt box!

 

Don’t forget to follow me on:

Facebook – where I share news stories, articles from other blogs, and various and sundry miscellany that happens to catch my eye. It’s stuff you won’t see here! Well, mostly.

Instagram – where I show you my Life in Motion and share quotes and such. The widget only shows my last three photographs – don’t you want to see them all?

Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: