I’m So Nerve-Cited

A lot happened this week but I’m having trouble focusing right now because this just happened: Continue reading “I’m So Nerve-Cited”


Conversing Among Old Books

Yesterday, being bored, I aimlessly surfed the web. Do people still say that? “Surf the web.” As I told my classes back in August:

I’m not hip to the phrasings of the youths.

Continue reading “Conversing Among Old Books”

Cut & Slice

Coming to grips with a world gone mad. Continue reading “Cut & Slice”

Seven Democrats and How To Debate Them

Important Disclaimers – Please Read

Francis Underwood for President
Francis Underwood for President!

First, I am indebted to Mr. Matthew Desmond, whose article “The Seven Types Of Republicans And How To Debate Them” served as inspiration for this post.

OK, a bit more than inspiration – I outright copied him for most of this post. As I was reading his original article, I thought “Hey! All you have to do is replace ‘Republican’ with ‘Democrat,’ adjust the examples, and you’d have the same article from the opposite viewpoint!”

So, that’s what I did; I copied the entire article and made the proper adjustments to reflect a conservative viewpoint (as seen by an Independent).

Second, I intend this as an Onion-esque “report.”

Do Not Take This Seriously!

Third, for the sake of honesty, let me clarify my political position: I am an independent and think both major political parties need a time-out for several decades. Combine the two articles and you’ll understand what it’s like as an Independent ignored by both parties (except when convenient, of course).



The Seven Types Of Democrats And How To Debate Them

Anyone discussing politics with a Democrat recognizes that there are a wide variety of Democrats, each possessing their own debating style. In this article, I attempt to break down the basic types of Democrats, the obvious flaws in their views, and how you can best debate them. I’ll start with the most intelligent and work my way down.


Educated Democrats are the rarest of all Democrats. Occasionally you find one in public or in an online forum. These Democrats can be the most difficult to deal with. They know everything there is to know about their position… from a Democratic perspective. They’ve educated themselves on all the reasons why their position is correct, and are not concerned with anything that contradicts their beliefs.

The problem with this type of Democrat’s views:

Anyone with the Internet and five minutes can find something that thoroughly discredits their version of the “facts.” Even when confronted with contradictory facts, they continue to fall back on their original arguments; try to change the subject to something they are more comfortable talking about, or start expressing opinions with no factual merit.

What to remember when debating them:

Keep them on-topic. Don’t let them ignore your counterpoints and then change the subject on you. They’re masters of that, but if you can keep them on topic, eventually they will just start expressing opinions to which you can say “do you have any facts to back that up?”

Educated Philosoraptor talks Democrats

Media Democrats are the angriest group of Democrats. They watch television and think it makes them an expert on politics. The only knowledge they have of politics are parroted talking points without any facts to back them up. When you defeat them in debate, they will resort to calling you names like “conservative,” “bigot,” “woman-hater”; “racist,” etc. They think all conservatives want to take their money and give it to big business, especially oil.

The problem with this type of Democrat’s views:

They have no idea what they are talking about. Usually they’re just repeating things they’ve heard from Anderson Copper, Brian Williams, or Piers Morgan (a British national who has neither a stake in nor an understanding of American government). They think that all conservatives want to restrict their freedoms and clearly don’t know what the word “conservative” means, or what conservatives have contributed to our country and our freedoms. They think President Obama is comparable to Jesus (or his non-religious equivalent) for passing healthcare reform. They accuse you of watching FOX News if you don’t agree with them. They call you ignorant but expect you to blindly believe everything they tell you, without question.

What to remember when debating them:

Keep demanding facts from them to back up their assertions until they break down and call you any of the aforementioned names. Ask them to name specific freedoms that conservatives have taken from them. They have a tendency to record your conversations and take your words out of context, so be aware of recording equipment when debating them face to face.

Dave Granlund You Lie Cartoon

Atheist (or non-religious/non-practicing) Democrats are hypocrites. They do everything in the name of humanity, while simultaneously acting as inhuman as possible. They deny basic rights, such as freedom of religion and the right to be born.  They think guns are evil and would strip Americans of their right to self-expression . They claim the Bible depicts Christ as a liberal who was opposed to capitalism and violence while completely ignoring the fact that he never spoke in favor of any political ideology and advocated civil disobedience (c.f. Romans 13). They sincerely believe that Christianity had a negative (or zero) impact on America and think we should give up national sovereignty to the United Nations . They label everyone who doesn’t agree with them as “bigoted, ” “racist,” or “__________-phobic”. They cannot understand the difference between tolerance, acceptance, and love.

The problem with this type of Democrat’s views:

They do terrible things in the name of science or humanity. They think that anyone who doesn’t agree with them hates them. They believe that America was never a Christian nation even though the Founding Fathers and the Documents of Freedom are heavily influenced by the Bible. The Founding Fathers wanted a country of religious freedom free from religious persecution, but these Democrats do their best to marginalize and politically persecute religion – especially fundamentalist Christianity.

What to remember when debating them:

There’s a list of quotes that show our Founding Fathers wanted a country influenced by religion. For those Democrats that claim to be Christian, ask them questions like “how would Jesus feel about killing babies?” or “how would Jesus feel about someone failing to protect their family?” For those that are non-religious, ask “if you REALLY think America isn’t the best country in the world, why don’t you live somewhere else?” or “If other countries are doing it better, why do they have the same problems we do – or worse?” Of course, these questions should yield a response that thoroughly proves that they are hypocrites, and continuing to argue with them would be a waste of time.

Atheist Meme

Occupy Democrats are a dumbed-down combination of the previous two groups of Democrats. They think Joe Biden is intelligent and it’s the media filter’s fault that he looks so stupid. They think Clinton was fiscally responsible even though he borrowed money to balance the budget. They watch CNN religiously, and think main-stream talking heads are credible. They don’t understand why people think they’re racist when they claim only whites are racist. They support the Affordable Health Care Act and higher taxes for the wealthy,  even though government waste and inefficiency are at record levels. They fail to see how corporate tax breaks creates jobs.

The problem with this type of Democrat’s views:

They parrot Brian Williams, Anderson Cooper, and Piers Morgan talking points. When you discredit one thing they say, they immediately move on to the next subject. Anyone who doesn’t agree with them is ignorant. They fail to see that their system of government mimics socialism.  They think government can provide the answers to all of societal ills; they want no personal responsibility.

What to remember when debating them:

They have no idea what they’re talking about. Ask them to prove what they are saying. If you ask them a question and they respond with another question, refuse to answer their question until they answer yours. Don’t back down. Remind them that conservative fiscal policies were responsible for the economic booms of the past. If debating them in public, be careful because they are known to surreptitiously record conversations with intent to twist words, so be aware of any recording devices (including phones) when debating them in places like parks, bars and churches (if they deign to enter one).

Occupy Cartoon

Party Democrats think that Obama is an inclusive President despite all evidence to the contrary. They blame all of Obama’s failures on George W Bush. They are sore losers because Bush won the elections of 200 and 2004. They think that Obama won the 2012 election fairly and voter fraud is a myth, despite some districts reporting over 100% voter turnout without a single vote for Romney. They were anti-war when Bush was President; they have backed Obama’s foreign policy to the letter. They willfully ignore scandals such as Benghazi, the Fast and the Furious, the NSA, and the IRS. They will never support a conservative, even if he/she paid off the entire national debt and passed universal healthcare.

The problem with this type of Democrat’s views:

They think Obama, Clinton, Kerry, and Biden are infallibly credible. They fail to see that Obama is one step away from socialism. They think increasing the national debt ceiling is fiscally responsible. They love pointing out flaws in the Republican camp while ignoring the scandal and division in their own tent.

What to remember when debating them:

Don’t waste your time. You could wave Benghazi security footage and NSA internal emails until the cows come home. They are blind to reality and will never be happy unless a Democrat is president. Have them read the Constitution or news accounts of guns saving lives. Show them how fiscal conservatism has helped grow America. This is the best way to get them to go away.

Democratic Party Pickets

[DISCLAIMER: I am putting this one almost last for a reason. I do NOT think all Democrats are racists. I have Democratic friends who are not racist. This section is only about the small percentage of Democrats who are ACTUALLY racist, because they do exist. I’m not “playing the race card” or “race-baiting,” I’m just describing a small group of racists who also affiliate themselves with the Democratic Party]


Racist Democrats hate whites because they’re white. They think whites owe something to make up for past wrongs. They desire not equality, but an inequality where whites are marginalized. They think that all Christians are racist terrorists. They think anyone who is from the South or owns a gun is a racist. Anyone who disagrees with anyone who is not white is a racist.

The problem with this type of Democrat’s views:

They only think whites are racist. They think racism only counts if it’s racism practiced by the political majority. Whenever they possibly can, they will call you a racist, to hide the fact that they are actually racists.

What to remember when debating them:

They’re racists. Racists are uneducated bigots. You would have a much easier time convincing an apple tree to start growing oranges.

Racist-Woman-Hater Cartoon

Extremely Uneducated Democrats are Democrats because they think it’s cool. They have a Democratic friend in one of the other groups listed, so they think they know what they’re talking about. They have terrible spelling and grammar but they expect you to believe whatever they say because they are saying it to you.

The problem with this type of Democrat’s views:

It’s hard to tell if they ever made it past the 4th grade. Most of their posts are illegible. They don’t know anything about their position other than what they have heard their friends say. They think Democrats help society because they say that they do, and call anyone who doesn’t agree with them “heartless.” They ignore all historical information that is contradictory to what they say. They are 100 percent blind to facts.

What to remember when debating them:

No amount of facts or logic will ever convince them that their buddies are wrong. You could be a college professor and they will still think your facts aren’t credible. Instead of trying to argue with them, try explaining algebra to your dog. I’m sure it will be much more productive.


Belated Veteran’s Day: 2 Poems for Reflection

Armistace Headline

Yesterday was Veteran’s Day here in the United States, elsewhere called Armistice Day. Originally intended to celebrate the end of World War One, Veteran’s Day now honors all those service personnel still living (both active and retired). For the past 48 hours or so I’ve been reflecting on two poems written during the First World War.

The first – “In Flanders Fields” – was written by Canadian physician John McRae. Its success has made it widely popular, and some credit the poem with popularizing the remembrance poppy. I remember memorizing this poem for a patriotic program in elementary school, and it has stuck with me ever since.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place, and in the sky,
The larks, still bravely singing, fly,
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead; short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe!
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high!
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

The second poem – “Dulce Et Decorum Est” –  was written by Wilfred Owen, a poet I was not introduced to until my college years. If I recall correctly, my freshman speech instructor used it as a dramatic reading. Her impassioned presentation brought Owen’s recollections to life and – I think – began my disillusionment with America’s military complex. It made me realize the reality of war and the myriad complexities involved in recovering from what one has seen, heard, and done in the name of one’s country.

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.

GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!– An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And floundering like a man in fire or lime.–
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,–
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.

An Open Letter to Daylight Saving Time


Dear Daylight Saving Time,

I must ask you to please cease and desist your fraudulent claims.

This past Sunday – November 3, 2013 – at 2:00 AM, you claimed to “give” me an extra hour of sleep. This sir, was a lie. Like the government, you cannot give back what you do not first take away. Let the record show that on Sunday, March 10, you “took” an hour of my time. Your claims of giving me an extra hour of sleep are akin to the Internal Revenue Service allowing me a “tax break” whereby I can keep money that is already mine by right.

Second, you claim to grant me an hour of daylight. Again, this is a lie. There are still twenty-four hours in a day; therefore, it is impossible to arbitrarily assign an extra hour of daylight. The laws of nature are not subject to the laws of America’s Congress. Instead, you have robbed Peter to pay Paul. You have taken an hour of my evening – an hour previously spent running – and moved it to a time most inconvenient – my morning. I honestly do not need daytime to come any earlier. I can see just fine as I go to work – that’s why automobiles come equipped with headlights. Your early-morning rays are a public nuisance that should be outlawed. Additionally, you have stolen time from me in that I can no longer run. The public parks in my area open at 8:00; at this time, I have already been at work for an hour. The parks close at dusk, which now comes at 5:30. Since I  cannot arrive  at the park any earlier than 4:00, I only have an hour and a half to run. You have stolen both my joy and my exercise; I demand recompense.

I would like to know sir, why you persist in inconveniencing me twice a year. It cannot be for the farmers; every farmer I know has never paid attention to daylight, work is done whether the sun is up or not. I find it ironic that not only is America unique in yielding to your extortion, but also that Arizona does not follow your scheme. Do you recall the man instrumental in denying you entry? If I recall correctly, it was Senator Barry Goldwater. It is a sad state of affairs when a man best remembered for threatening to defoliate the jungles of Southeast Asia via atomic weapons had enough sense not to be suckered into your Madoff-like promise of extra time.

In short, sir, we the American people are tired of your biannual antics. The party is over and you’ve overstayed your welcome. Please go back to wherever it is you came from, and don’t  let the door hit you on the way out.


An Annoyed American


I realize that Daylight Saving Time allows us longer evenings and that it is Standard Time which we are currently in. However, what I really desire is consistency. I could manage the darker evenings if it were that way all year long. But please, don’t offer me Godiva for the last 8 months and then expect me to be satisfied with Reese’s for the next 4. Let’s just choose something and stick with it.

Posted as part of NaBloPoMo 2013


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