Monday Morning Grievance: Holiday [Oxy]Morons

It’s Monday and I haven’t had my coffee.

Monday Morning Grievances Logo 1

Christmas Day behind us, New Years’ before us, crazies in full force.

One should stockpile all necessities by Dec 15 and only venture out when needed.

Drivers ignore speed limits, traffic signals, and signage.

Pedestrians refuse to look any direction.

Malls and Grocers descend into chaos.

I want to go home as soon as I reach the main road.

Home has its own problems.

Turn on the radio or TV, and a song, show, or movie will be proclaimed

an instant classic

a new tradition

That’s not how this works, people.

That’s not how any of this works.

I’d get you a dictionary for Christmas, but

(a) they’re expensive and

(b) I doubt you’d read it anyway.

And then there’s the family photographer, stealing a slice of our souls with every synthesized click of the button and telling us

ACT NATURAL!

Being natural, I make no apologies for

not smiling

not sitting up

not looking at the camera

not looking pleasant

not not blinking

If you wanted something else, you’re looking at the wrong person. But for you, I’ll do those things, knowing that the person in the photos is a pseudo-me, an impostor no better than Shopping Mall Santa.

Now I have a machine gun

ho ho ho

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5 thoughts on “Monday Morning Grievance: Holiday [Oxy]Morons

  1. It’s like Festivus! I, too, hate the posed family photo. I’ve made it a point in the last couple of years to capture real moments. I hate looking at a photo of elegantly coiffed, smiling families knowing that ten seconds before, they were snarling and miserable. I’d rather remember things as they really are.

    I’m with you on the driving thing. In the western part of our town, drivers fail to heed any kind of right-of-way, and they drive like proverbial bats out of hell. I don’t visit that part of town ANY time if I can help it, but especially not at the holiday.

    Liked by 1 person

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