What Just Happened?!?

I started my Saturday morning long run at 6am as I have for over the last year. This time, though, something very strange happened.

I’d been running for about a mile when a car slowed down beside me and the driver rolled down his window. It sounded like he was saying something so I pulled out an earbud and asked “can I help you with something”

Yeah, he replied, I’m looking for an S9.

I haven’t seen an S9, I replied, but I haven’t been looking for one either. Sorry. And I kept on running.

He kept on following me.

You sure you haven’t seen an S9?

Yes, I’m sure.

[unintelligible] a hundred dollars for [unintelligible]

I don’t have a hundred dollars.

I said, I have a hundred dollars for my phone, if you know what I mean.

I don’t know what you mean.

And I kept running, as I had all this time.

By this point I’d reached a triangle junction in the road and had to cross two lanes of traffic. I did, and then chose to run on the sidewalk instead of the bike lane.

I heard him turn behind me. He must have thought I was looping around because I could hear him whip his car around.

I ripped my phone off my arm and started to activate the emergency call function when he ran into a pile of brush and curbed his car.

I yelled at him. Sir I don’t know who you are or what you want, but if you don’t leave me alone I’m calling the police!

Oh, I’m so sorry, he said. I lost my phone along this road and the phone company said it was tracked to this area. I thought you might have it since you acted suspicious, being confused and running from me.

That’s because I am confused and I am running! Look how I’m dressed – you can see my medical tag through my shirt, does it look like I’m hiding a phone anywhere!!??

I’m so sorry to have bothered you. I’m from LA and I just assumed . . .

(I don’t believe he was from LA; his car would never have made the trip)

Well I hope you find your phone but you’re going to leave me alone *right now*.

And he drove on.

Krystal says he was looking for something else: drugs or a “good time”.

This afternoon I was driving to Walmart for some toiletries and we passed him going the other direction. That’s the guy that accosted me! I shouted.

I wonder if he ever found his phone? My Krystal replied.