Category: Humanities

Alas, Poor Yorkie

Behold, fair citizen, the distressing headline of our age:

After a Deal, British Chocolates Won’t Cross the Pond

I ask: what treachery is this?

This bold act brings to mind a similar case of some years ago.

Perhaps you’ve heard of the Townshend Acts?

No?

Your education has been sadly neglected.

You must have heard of the Boston Tea Party, then?

ACR Boston Tea Party
Or – at the very least – played Assassin’s Creed: Revelations?

Let the known facts be made clear:

An American company making substandard chocolate experienced a few bad quarters.

Hershey Sign
Probably because they keep making bad pips.

OK, so chocolate humor isn’t my thing. I make no apologies.

Do they improve the product?

No! They eliminate the competition.

Strike that.

They eliminate the competition.

They convince the American government to eliminate the competition.

Monopoly Board Close Up
This seemed appropriate for reasons I just can’t put my finger on . . .

No more British chocolate!

Say no to disgustingly higher-quality ingredients!

Berate the atrociously short shelf-life!

Ignore the tremendously superior flavor!

‘Murica!

Oh, but we’re protecting Hershey, an iconic American business!

I imagine they said the same about the East India Company.

East India Co
They, too, were “too big to fail,” and look what that got them . . .

Imagine the savings – you won’t be paying nearly as much!

Hmm . . . you think the colonists didn’t think of that?

The inhabitants . . . who but a few months ago were in ease and affluence, have now, no other alternative than to stay and starve, or turn and beg. Endangered by the fire of their friends if they continue within the city, and plundered by the soldiery if they leave it. In their present condition they are prisoners without the hope of redemption, and in general attack for their relief, they would be exposed to the fury of both armies.

~ Thomas Paine, Common Sense (1776)

Huh . . . seems they valued liberty over artificial savings.

Imagine that!

Does it really matter where your chocolate comes from as long as you get it?

Yes. Yes it does.

I am sick and tired of a government hell-bent on declaring what I can and cannot spend my money on.

You must by health insurance, even if you can’t afford it. If you don’t, we’ll fine you.

You may not buy British chocolate, even if you want to. Because we said so!

John Locke Dont Tell Me What I Cant DoWhy, hello there!

John Locke, meet John Locke:

John Locke
The end of law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom.

Where does the madness end?

What other countries will fall foul of America’s predilection for cheap, low-quality merchandise?

Look out, China!

You know what, I don’t even particularly care for British chocolate.

You know what I like:

KInderschokoladeBut I’m not too naive to see the writing on the wall:

First Britain, then Germany.

Today: chocolate

Tomorrow: cookies

Deutscher Lebkuchen
Not the lebkuchen . . .

It is time for the fair citizens of this land to rise up against the gastronomic tyranny being imposed upon us!

That is, if we can get off the couch to begin with . . .

Circular Reasoning

Circle of Chairs

 

Why are the chairs in a circle?

I moved them.

Can we really sit anywhere?

Yes, as long as it’s in the circle.

What are we going to do today?

Just wait til everyone gets here.

How will we have class if we can’t see the board?

Don’t worry about the board.

Does this have to do with our Current Event?

Yes. I want to have some class discussion.

But I don’t know if my topic is important!

What if someone else takes my theme?

We’ll work through it; that’s why I’m here.

What if someone makes fun of me?

I’ll deal with it. This is a Judgement-Free Zone.

 

So, who want’s to go first?

 

Michael Brown, Eric Gardner, and what it means to be an American minority

Liberty Cant Breathe

 

Charlie Hebdo, Ferguson protests, and the Freedom of Speech

7 January 2015

 

President Obama’s community college program, what it offers, and who will pay for it

 

Malaysia Airlines, terror threats, and aviophobia

Malaysia Air

Every Minute

Every Class

Every Period

 

When can we do this again?

I Went Hunting This Year

I went hunting this year.

Some of you already stopped reading.

That’s okay.

 

Growing up in Pennsylvania, hunting was a way of life.

PA hunter-trapper patchOur rite of passage: the hunter’s safety course. (100%, thank you very much.)

A special holiday: schools closing on the first day of rifle season.

A test: waking up before dawn to sit in subfreezing temperatures hoping, praying, or – in my sister’s and my case – dancing for the deer to come. We called it the “OK, Deer. You Can Come Now” dance.

Celebration: a photograph of our first deer televised on the local news station. My deer didn’t make it; my turkey, though . . .

Pennsylvania Outdoor Life on WNEP

The same station that brought you the “Apparently” Kid

Reward: meat in the freezer. Horns on the wall (maybe). Head mounts? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Then I moved – college, you know. I didn’t hunt for 4 years.

I moved again – marriage, you know. I hunted off and on for the past 6 years.

 

Never got anything.

 

300 savage pump
I hunt with a .300 Savage similar to this one

 

Until this year.

 

This year I harvested a doe and a buck – and found a slightly different perspective.

 

Some readers may find the following descriptions and photos distasteful.

Consider yourself warned.

 

I stood over my first harvest – the doe – and understood why Native Peoples thanked animals for their sacrifice. This doe had been alive moments before; I could feel the heat coming off her. I found myself praying she didn’t suffer. I never thought these thoughts when I was younger.

I had the meat processed into burger – 22 pounds, to be exact.

Enough to fill the freezer.

 

I was invited to go out again on the last day of the season – processing (if any) would be taken care of.

With two minutes remaining a buck walked out – literally under my stand. I couldn’t take a shot without shooting through the floor, so I waited. Seconds passed; I started to think: Should I take a shot?

I’ve never harvested a buck before; but as I’ve always said, you can’t eat antlers.

I had plenty of burger, but didn’t have any roasts.Would it be worth it?

It was getting late. What if I only wounded it and then couldn’t find it?

 

Then he started to run and I had to make a choice.

I took the shot – and missed.my first buck

He turned. I had time to make another shot.

I took it – he went down.

 

Then came the processing.

My uncle and I processed the whole thing.

It was gross; it was disgusting.

It was necessary.

It looked something like this:

hams 2015

 

I’m not sure how to say it. I enjoyed the hunt, but it wasn’t fun. I derived no pleasure from killing these animals, although I’m thankful for the meat in my freezer. And my in-law’s freezer. And my uncle’s freezer.

I could never hunt for sport.

Contrary to PETA’s website, most hunters don’t hunt for “recreation.” It’s true: many don’t rely on hunting to survive, but those lucky enough to harvest an animal won’t have to buy that at the grocery. Case in point: this year “cost” me $146.  I only had to pay for my license and processing of the first deer, and those monies were given as gifts. This means I paid about $2.43 per pound of meat; try buying burger or roast from the deli for that price. I should have no need to buy beef for the next year.

Neither is hunting a necessity. I won’t starve because I didn’t get a deer.

But, hunting makes things easier; my bank account can stretch a bit further.

These are things I didn’t think of before.

Hunting: natural and organic.

Very Circle of Life, don’t you think?

circle of life quote

Review: A Burnable Book

Knowledge is currency.

It can be traded and it can be banked, and more secretly than money.

A Burnable BookLondon, 1385:

A book and a cloth prophesy regicide.

Two aspiring poets hide their own a dark secrets.

Two ambitious men plot revenge.

Two fallen women desire a better life.

This is the scene and these are the principal characters of Bruce Holsinger’s A Burnable Book. A book of heretical verse prophesying the death of Richard II circulates through London. When the only known copy goes missing, it’s up to John Gower – enlisted by his friend Geoffrey Chaucer – to track it down and stop the assassination.

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

Distraction, deception, subterfuge, mendacity, all those unspoken tools of the subtler crafts: government and trade, diplomacy and finance.

As far is intrigues go, I found A Burnable Book relatively easy. It is quite obvious that Chaucer is the author of De Mortibus, that Gower’s son Simon is in it up to his ears, and the identity of the so-called “mystery girl” is evident early on as well. History tells us that Richard II wasn’t assassinated in 1385, so we know the plot will fail. (I really shouldn’t have to give a spoiler alert for something over 600 years old, you know . . .) However, this did not stop me from enjoying the book and seeing how the characters would figure it out. For me, the only real plot twists were (a) just who was responsible for Simon’s involvement in the plot and (b) just how much Chaucer “knew” beforehand.

As a work of fiction, I found A Burnable Book to be about as satisfying as a bag of chips: It filled time but had little actual value. Adam Scarlett really turned me off. A relatively minor character, his rather violent end was not really necessary to the plot. Furthermore, coming as it did in the final ten pages of the book, it somewhat ruined the denouement of the overall storyline. I understand the motives behind his death; I simply think it should have come at a different point (preferably not at all).

I borrowed this book from my local library; otherwise, I would have felt robbed. I definitely wouldn’t pay $26 for the hardback edition, and even $8 for a paperback may be a bit much.

My overall rating:

2.5 stars

Lessons and Carols

Lessons and Carols CandlesPerhaps you have never heard of a Lessons and Carols service.

From Wikipedia:

The first Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols at King’s College, Cambridge, was held on Christmas Eve in 1918. It was conceived by Eric Milner-White, the Dean of the College, whose experience as an army chaplain had led him to believe that more imaginative worship was needed by the Church of England. The order of service was adapted from the order created by Benson for Truro Cathedral 38 years earlier, based on an idea from the future Bishop of Edinburgh, George Walpole . . .

The format of the first Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols did not differ substantially from the one known today. The order of the lessons was revised in 1919, and since that time the service has always begun with the hymn “Once in Royal David’s City” . . .

The Nine Lessons, which are the same every year, are read by representatives of the college and of the City of Cambridge from the 1611 Authorized King James Version of the Bible . . . The singing is divided into “carols” which are sung by the Choir of King’s College, Cambridge, and “hymns” sung by the Choir and congregation . . . The service ends with the hymn “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” . . .

If you have never attended a Lessons and Carols service – or, if you are unable to attend one or find a broadcast – I would like to provide one for you.

AB INITIO

 Lessons and Carols Candles 2FIRST LESSON

Genesis 3:8-19

8. And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.

9. And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

10. And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

11. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

12. And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

13. And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

14. And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

15. And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

16. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

17. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

18. Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

[Continue to Second Lesson]

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

A Rant about Music

[rant]

Many of my students suffer from the delusion that any time before the present day was “boring.”

You didn’t have internet? or cell phones? What did you do?

I used something called imagination. It’s nearly extinct, but you can see traces of it here and there . . .

In my experience, they find music the most tedious. Why? I don’t really know. Perhaps it’s because enjoying older styles of music takes work. Gregorian chant, polyphony, opera, and classical music all require effort, something today’s One Direction-crazed teenyboppers or Selena Gomez-infatuated prepubescents just aren’t willing to do.

Music? Effort? It took a whole minute to download this song, and now you want me to think about it?! I don’t think so, old man . . .

But music from days gone by simply isn’t boring. I get that you don’t like it, but it certainly isn’t boring.

Case in point:

“Gaudete”

Rejoice, rejoice! Christ is born
of the Virgin Mary – rejoice!

The time of grace has come—
what we have wished for,
songs of joy
Let us give back faithfully.

God has become man,
With nature marveling,
The world has been renewed
By Christ reigning.

The closed gate of Ezekiel
Is passed through,
Whence the light is raised,
Salvation is found.

Therefore let our gathering
Now sing in brightness
Let it give praise to the Lord:
Greeting to our King.

Did you even hear that tune?!

How on God’s green Earth is this boring?!

It’s not. That’s the point.

[/rant]

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