Monday Morning Grievance: Holiday [Oxy]Morons

It’s Monday and I haven’t had my coffee.

Monday Morning Grievances Logo 1

Christmas Day behind us, New Years’ before us, crazies in full force.

One should stockpile all necessities by Dec 15 and only venture out when needed.

Drivers ignore speed limits, traffic signals, and signage.

Pedestrians refuse to look any direction.

Malls and Grocers descend into chaos.

I want to go home as soon as I reach the main road.

Home has its own problems.

Turn on the radio or TV, and a song, show, or movie will be proclaimed

an instant classic

a new tradition

That’s not how this works, people.

That’s not how any of this works.

I’d get you a dictionary for Christmas, but

(a) they’re expensive and

(b) I doubt you’d read it anyway.

And then there’s the family photographer, stealing a slice of our souls with every synthesized click of the button and telling us

ACT NATURAL!

Being natural, I make no apologies for

not smiling

not sitting up

not looking at the camera

not looking pleasant

not not blinking

If you wanted something else, you’re looking at the wrong person. But for you, I’ll do those things, knowing that the person in the photos is a pseudo-me, an impostor no better than Shopping Mall Santa.

Now I have a machine gun

ho ho ho

What’s Annoying You Today?


Have a suggestion for a poem, photograph, or future post?

Drop a note in the prompt box!

Don’t forget to follow me on:

Facebook – where I share news stories, articles from other blogs, and various and sundry miscellany that happens to catch my eye. It’s stuff you won’t see here! Well, mostly.

Instagram – where I show you my Life in Motion and share quotes and such. The widget only shows my last three photographs – don’t you want to see them all?

Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.

Sunday Snapshots: Wonderful Christmastime

The most wonderful time of the year is also the busiest. Between birthdays, Christmas, and the irregularities of the United States Postal Service, celebrations in our family will often last five days or more.

Here’s some of what we did between December 22 and December 26:

 

And then there was this:

 How was your Holiday Season?


 

Have a suggestion for a poem, photograph, or future post?

Drop a note in the prompt box!

 

Don’t forget to follow me on:

Facebook – where I share news stories, articles from other blogs, and various and sundry miscellany that happens to catch my eye. It’s stuff you won’t see here! Well, mostly.

Instagram – where I show you my Life in Motion and share quotes and such. The widget only shows my last three photographs – don’t you want to see them all?

Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.

Weihnachtsfloskel-Bingo

Trotz der Hektik es gibt Zeiten, die Feiertage zu erhalten geradezu langweilig.

Angenommen die mit anderen Menschen, es ist Zeit für Weihnachtsfloskel-Bingo:
 
Christmas Cliche Bingo auf Deutsch
 
Nach 49 Minuten hatte ich das:
 
Christmas Cliche Bingo auf Deutsch Komplete

 
Als meine Familie nicht zu trinken, würde es nie ausfüllen.
 


 

Have a suggestion for a poem, photograph, or future post?

Drop a note in the prompt box!

 

Don’t forget to follow me on:

Facebook – where I share news stories, articles from other blogs, and various and sundry miscellany that happens to catch my eye. It’s stuff you won’t see here! Well, mostly.

Instagram – where I show you my Life in Motion and share quotes and such. The widget only shows my last three photographs – don’t you want to see them all?

Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.

What I Did On My Birthday

People always want to know what one did on their birthday. As a teacher, I abhor repeating myself unnecessarily, so I’m keeping this list and when someone asks me what I did I can just say:

Check my Blog!

Smokey woke me up at 6:00

I may be on break, but he certainly is not

Then, I . . .

opened Overcast and started catching up on unplayed podcasts

logged into Facebook and played some Scrabble

talked to my Mom and Dad

They call me every birthday at 7:15 AM

Birthday Time 2015

typed two blog posts: Teaser Tuesday and Twenty Questions

tried helping Krystal get ready for work

I was more in the way than anything else

went into town dressed like this:

Birthday 2015 Assassins Creed Hoodie

finished shopping for Krystal

OK, I shopped for me, too

Using a gift card, I purchased these books:

Birthday Books 2015

Panera Bread gave me a free pastry for my birthday:

Huzzah for the cobblestone!

came home

had lunch

chipotle-barbecue boneless wings from Buffalo Wild Wings

talked to my cousin Eric

he wished me Happy Birthday and told me about crazy people at Wal-Mart getting free wine samples

started typing this list

wrapped the presents I bought for Krystal

messed around some more on Facebook

paid bills online

helped a friend in Canada fix a vibration problem with their iPhone

made some coffee

Dunkin’ Dark – a Christmas present from a wonderful 7th grader who paid attention when a fellow student asked my favorite type of coffee

warmed my cobblestone

coffee + cobblestone =  afternoon snack

browsed BuzzFeed while consuming said snack

finished my podcast binge

logged into Netflix to watch X-Files

I’m in season eight which means David Duchovny isn’t around as much as he used to, and the show suffers for it

I’m determined to see it through, though

I want Mulder’s “I Want to Believe” poster

browsed social media

waited for the mailman to come

received a card from an aunt in New York

checked the Goodreads giveaways

switched from X-Files to the BBC show Myth Hunters

The second episode “Hitler and the Spear of Destiny” annoyed me to no end by constantly referring to Charlemagne as the first Holy Roman Emperor

While it is true Charlemagne was crowned Emperor of the Romans on December 25, 800, Otto I [Otto “the Great”] was the first Holy Roman Emperor

I’d expect better of the BBC

tracked down my copy of A Christmas Story

texted with David, my best friend since the day he was born

IMG_4534

 

made supper of grilled cheese, Doritos, and Moxie

Birthday Dinner 2015

for my birthday? Yes, you see

Krystal, her sister, and our cousin Alex went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

I have no desire to see Odysseus/Oedipus in Space, so Krystal gave me the best present an introvert can receive: alone time.

Let me repeat:

There is no greater gift for an introvert than planned alone time!

No obligations

No distractions

It’s amazing

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. I

watched A Christmas Story while enjoying my nostalgic dinner

since I own the DVD, the 24-hour marathon begins when I say it will and is entirely independent of TBS

watched more X-Files

ate all the coconut candies from a box of Russel Stover Elegant Chocolates

brushed my teeth

Krystal is allergic to coconut; no sense giving her a headache or worse

Krystal came home @12:30

switched from X-Files to The Munsters

fell asleep

a satisfying birthday indeed

 


 

Have a suggestion for a poem, photograph, or future post?

Drop a note in the prompt box!

 

Don’t forget to follow me on:

Facebook – where I share news stories, articles from other blogs, and various and sundry miscellany that happens to catch my eye. It’s stuff you won’t see here! Well, mostly.

Instagram – where I show you my Life in Motion and share quotes and such. The widget only shows my last three photographs – don’t you want to see them all?

Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.

Twenty Questions on my Thirtieth Birthday

Yesterday was December 21, the shortest day of the year.

Today is December 22, and the days lengthen.

The ancients called this day Sol Invictus, or “The Unconquered Sun”.

Also on this day, I was born.

Birthday Time 2015

Every year since I moved from Pennsylvania, Mom calls me at 7:15 in the morning on my birthday because that’s when I was born.

This year was no exception, and it was wonderful.

I was going to make a pun about being the Unconquered Son, but some might view that as borderline heresy/blasphemy.

However, I’m ready for those people. Thanks to Monty Python, I always expect the Spanish Inquisition.

Monty Python Spanish Inquisition Quote

Anyway, now that my mother is officially “old” according to her, I thought I’d do a little self-examination and answer twenty questions about myself.

1. What are some nicknames you’ve acquired over the years?

JP, James, General, PJ

Please note that my listing of these names should not be construed as a blanket invitation to use these names.

Never, ever, under any circumstances should the names “JP” or “PJ” be used.

I will rise from the dead and haunt you, exacting my revenge until the end of your days. And then I’ll continue my persecution in the afterlife.

Just don’t do it.

Only one person in the world may call me “James”; I’ll simply correct the rest of you.

Anyone and everyone may call me “General” but I’ll probably question why you’re calling me that as the nickname was given by a certain group of friends in college.

2. What are you favorite colors?

My favorite colors are black and green.

For those who say black is not a color, we should talk sometime.

3. Do you have a favorite bird and/or animal?

I like the pre-feathered velociraptors, wolves (but not as much as when I was in high school), and cats – yes, Smokey has converted me from a dog person to a cat person.

4. Is there a creature that intrigues you, but also freaks you out a little?

Spiders, and let’s leave it at that.

5. How old do you really feel?

I’ve often been told I’m an old man trapped in a young man’s body, so I can honestly say my age is growing into my attitude (or something like that).

Mr Tom and I think alike on many things, and he’s 97.

My father-in-law and I also enjoy many of the same things, and he’s in his mid-50s.

Have I answered the question? I really can’t tell.

6. Do you have a song you struggle to admit you love?

No, I’m very honest about the music I love, hate, or love to hate.

7. Are there any film(s) you’ve seen more than 10 times?

The Godfather Trilogy

They’re all good; I don’t care about public opinion regarding Part III.

Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park: The Lost World, and Jurassic Park III

Again, I like them all.

A Christmas Story

The Hogfather

I’m certain there’s more, but I feel these are probably the important ones.

8. Is there a planet and/or star system you feel resonates with you?

Pluto and Betelgeuse

9. Is there a food and/or beverage you just can’t stand?

shrimp, Brussels sprouts, iced coffee (coffee over ice; I like other cold, coffee-based drinks just fine)

10. What personal trait(s) you can only apologize for?

My inability to read social cues.

11. Personal traits you will never apologize for?

I feel this question is best answered with a picture:

Birthday Shirt 2015

I received this shirt as a birthday present from a friend who also shares a December 22nd birthday.

We know the struggle, and the struggle is real.

12. Say you were in a position of power; what one thing would you remove from society?

What position of power are we talking about, exactly?

I’ll assume President of the United States (since that’s (a) the country in which I live and (b) the position that would allow me to affect societal change in some way).

Oh, I can only remove one thing?

That’s tough . . . how about . . .

ignorant voting.

Good thing you didn’t ask me how.

13. Now, what one thing would you add to society?

Fully-funded libraries

14. Country you’d like to visit before you kick the bucket?

Deutschland (aka Germany)

15. What one thing would you like to learn to do even if you think it’s impossible?

Draw; right now, my stick figures have advanced-stage leprosy.

16. What word(s) do you say far too often?

As a teacher, I find myself saying “focus” all too often.

Outside the classroom, I probably say “Well, actually” far too much.

17. Is there a sound you really like?

Coffee brewing

18. What number(s) do you feel connected to?

32

19. What super-power would you like to have?

I’d like to be able to read minds when I choose to.

None of this “read everyone’s mind all the time so the world never shuts up and I go crazy from all the inaudible noise” mess. I want to be able to turn it on/off, too.

This would solve that “social cues” problem I mentioned earlier.

20. Name one book/text you would recommend to your peers:

I’m going to name two, because it’s my birthday.

Dante’s Divine Comedy

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury


 

Something else you want me to answer or know more about?

Let me know in the comments!

 


Have a suggestion for a poem, photograph, or future post?

Drop a note in the prompt box!

Don’t forget to follow me on:

Facebook – where I share news stories, articles from other blogs, and various and sundry miscellany that happens to catch my eye. It’s stuff you won’t see here! Well, mostly.

Instagram – where I show you my Life in Motion and share quotes and such. The widget only shows my last three photographs – don’t you want to see them all?

Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.

06:00 Sunday Morning

6 o'clock clock

 

Sunday: one of the few days I can sleep in.

So, why am I awake at 06:00?

1. Smokey won’t leave me alone until he’s fed.

It’s not like I can shut the door and drown his mewing out.

I’m sleeping in the living room because

2. I’m sick, and

Krystal has Candlelight performances until the 19th.

She cannot afford to get sick; those performances are her hours for the week.

3. The medication I’m on has worn off.

It’s not that I feel bad, but it helps me sleep.

Funny, the “daytime” medication makes me tired while the “nighttime” medication acts as a stimulant.

Go figure.

So, I’m awake.

Watching “Ancient Aliens” while I grade papers I should have graded yesterday.

Yeah, it’s that bad.

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑