Batteries Not Included

Of life’s many decisions, this was one of the most trivial. It was also one of the most divisive.

CountOfMonteCristoCover“Do they have any cheaper than this? I can’t see spending this much money if I’m not sure I’ll like it.”

“Let me check.”


“Yeah, they range from $7 to $15.”

“Well, while you were gone I found the same thing for 99¢.”

Great, here we go again: Book v Nook. I could tell you right now how this conversation will go:

I just realized the Guide was an ebook. Crap.

“You know I don’t like ebooks.”

“But it’s cheaper.”

“Maybe, but how much did we have to spend on that thing in the first place?”

“That’s irrelevant. It’s what I wanted for my birthday. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.”

“But then I won’t be able to read it.”

“Well then, that’s your fault. I don’t see what you have against my Nook anyway.”

“Hey now, I gave it a shot. Do you have any idea how hard it was to read Ulysses without marking pages or taking notes? It was the most miserable reading experience of my life.”

Ulysses Cover
Don’t read this as an ebook. Just don’t.

“Well I like it. I can read in bed without holding a heavy book over my head.”

“Books don’t lose charge.”

“I can hold an entire library.”

“My books are books. You’re just holding a screen.”

“My books are cheaper.”

LeatherBooks“Which mean mine have value. Ever hear of leather-bound?”

“And how many of those have you read more than once?”

“ALL of them!”

“More than twice?”

“Most of them…”

“Your books take up so much space we could build a whole other house out of them.”

“You mean a house with built-in bookshelves?”

“No, that’s not what I meant and you know it!”

“Look let’s not argue. It’s not worth it.”

“Yeah, you’re right. So which one do you think is best?”

“Well, this one has decent cover art.”

Let’s skip all this, shall we?

“Well, this one’s $9, the typeface is alright, and the cover art is decent.”

“Looks good to me. Do you want another candle for the living room?”

Why, yes. Yes I do.
A Note

This is a work of semi-fiction. The conversation here is an amalgam of previous conversations between my wife and me. It is posted here with her knowledge. FWIW: She laughed.

This post is being published as part of Writing 101. Challenge 7: Write a post based on the contrast between two things — whether people, objects, emotions, places, or something else. Write your post in the form of a dialogue. 


6 thoughts on “Batteries Not Included

  1. “I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” And, for the record, I like both actual and virtual books. A digital format makes them very portable; the analog format is much easier to annotate.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve read a few e-reader vs. real book posts (all in different formats with different approaches), and I love this one, because it’s so real. I refuse to buy an e-reader — I’ll take expensive, bulky books any day. I do plan on having a library in my home, someday. =]

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I bought my wife one for her birthday. She loves it, and it really does fit her reading style. The only time I was remotely jealous of her literary access was on a cross-country flight.


  3. And they’ve seen the light. (sorry – couldn’t help it…insert giggles here)
    Some things you must read with pencil in hand. But I do like to travel light – with plenty to read.
    Nice realistic conversation between opposites. Flows well.
    There’s quite a discussion among published authors and editors about using “said” using alternatives – or not using at all. (I’ll try to backtrack and find that post)
    It depends on the style and piece. For me, what ever sounds natural is what is used.


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