Friday’s assignment for Writing 201 was to write an elegy using fog as a metaphor. After two days of quite literally nothing, I finally had some form of inspiration.
I don’t exactly like it, but neither do I hate it. It’s broken, yet fixable.
Elegy
Time is flying faster now
although the days seem long.
Mem'ry isn't what it used to be -
they say it's only fog.
I can't recall my favorite foods,
no jokes, no tales, no stories,
while I remember mundane things -
they say it's only fog.
I can't recall our family trips
or who we took along.
The games we played are all forgot -
they say it's only fog.
I can't recall my favorite book
nor yet my favorite song.
Like Richard's mind my spine is bent -
They say it's only fog.
I can't recall the names of those
whose pictures grace my walls,
while I remember childhood friends -
they say it's only fog.
It matters not the words I've said
or the places I have gone,
for what were once the concrete things
are now but sand and fog.

Bravo! Well done.
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Thank you for the encouragement!
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I literally (hope I got this word right this time) stopped breathing.
Your words captured me My whole body clenched when I voiced your words “it’s only fog”.
It’s a great piece of writing.
The only thing I stumbled upon is your very last line
“are now but sand and fog” sounded a bit off rhythm. (I am not a native English speaker, I am only sharing my honest thoughts!)
I would suggest something like “are nothing but sand and fog” or “are now merely sand and fog”.
Well in the end it is your piece of writing I am happy if you love it as much as I do and even more if you love your writing more 😉 (I hope I am still making sense because I am awake for about twenty hours by now.)
Hope you had a great start this week!
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I like “are merely sand and fog”! Thanks for the suggestion! It captures the instability I was going for.
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I like your elegy, particularly the last line of each verse repeating until the end. Good flow. And I can identify with memories undependable retrievals. 🙂
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