It’s Monday and I haven’t had my coffee.

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On Saturday, I wrote about the ball games that just wouldn’t end.

I know that every fan thinks the referees are against their team, and being a coach myself doesn’t increase my objectivity, but there are certain things that I know are fouls.

And yet, some referees wouldn’t know a fair game of basketball if they were forced to watch one over and over and over again like Malcolm McDowell watching scenes of ultra-violence in A Clockwork Orange.

In the past few weeks I’ve noticed things done to our teams that the referees have ignored:

Headlocks

Shoulders to the Chest

Body Slams

Shoving

Grabbing Ankles

Punches to the Head

I asked one referee if he knew he was officiating basketball and not football, UFC, or MMA.

I asked another how disabled our team would need to be before he’d call a foul against the other team.

I offered a third a (non-existent) coupon to Lens Crafters.

It’s a wonder I didn’t get thrown out.

One of our coaches did get a technical for asking the ref to call both ends of the court, so there’s that.

Seriously though, how can a player end up with a torn jersey, bloody nose, and dislocated 8th rib and there not be a foul ?!?!

Actual referee response:

We’re calling a good game. That’s all that matters.

Yeah, right. I’m certain the $30 extra dollars the home team gave you between games “because the night was running long” didn’t have anything to do with it at all.

Hint: if you’re going to tip your referees extra

(a) do it after the games have been played

(b) don’t tell your opponents

 

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