You never know what they’ll say! Continue reading “Things My Students Say (1)” →
Things My Students Say (1)
You never know what they’ll say! Continue reading “Things My Students Say (1)”
The Quotable Pratchett: The Color of Magic
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away
With the passing of Sir Terry Pratchett and the publication of The Shepherd’s Crown, I embarked on an epic re-reading of all 41 official Discworld novels, with the goal of finishing by 31 December, 2016.
Famous for its wit and wisdom, the series offers countless quotable quotes on a variety of subjects. The quotes I share should not be considered the whole of Sir Terry’s excellent prose; indeed, there are the tasty appetizers to a succulent, nourishing meal.
About The Color of Magic
This is the first published Discworld novel; it is also the first in the Rincewind Cycle – the series of books that follow the misadventures of the “WIZZARD” Rincewind.
In this novel, Pratchett introduces us to the workings of the Disc – its mechanics, metaphysics, morality, etc – through the eyes of the Disc’s first Tourist, Twoflower.
If you’ve seen the film The Color of Magic, this book contains the first half of the film [of course there’s more in the book than in the film; there always is] while The Light Fantastic relates the events from the second-half of the film.
The Goodreads Blurb:
The Color of Magic is Terry Pratchett’s maiden voyage through the now-legendary land of Discworld. This is where it all begins — with the tourist Twoflower and his wizard guide, Rincewind.
On a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There’s an avaricious but inept wizard, a naive tourist whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and of course THE EDGE of the planet…
And Now: On to the Quotes!
The Librarian as he appears in The Discworld Companion, illustrated by Paul Kidby
Magic never dies. It merely fades away.
Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
Being Ymor’s right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with scented bootlaces.
Promotion in the Assassin’s Guild was by competitive examination, the Practical being the most – indeed, the only – part.
Let’s just say if complete and utter chaos were lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor and shouting “All gods are bastards.”
Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant “idiot”.
You’re just as dead if you fall from forty feet as you are from four thousand fathoms, that’s what I say.
When one’s foot is stuck in the Grey Miasma of H’Rull it is much easier to step right in and sink rather than prolong the struggle.
Rincewind often suspected that there was something, somewhere, that was better than magic. He was usually disappointed.
Lightning is the spears hurled by the thunder giants when they fight. Established meteorological fact. You can’t harness it . . . and even if you could get a harness on it, how could you get it to pull a cart?
It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going around to atheists’ houses and smashing their windows.
[Octarine] is said to be a sort of fluorescent greenish yellow purple.
A man who owned a needle made of octiron would never lose his way, since it always pointed to the Hub of the Discworld, being acutely sensitive to the Disc’s magical field; it would also miraculously darn his socks.
Everyone has gods. You just don’t think they’re gods.
The Patrician of Ankh-Morpork smiled, but with his mouth only.
I assure you the though never even crossed my mind, Lord.
Indeed? Then if I were you I’d sue my face for slander.
. . .
Next: The Light Fantastic
The Complete List
Teaser Tuesday: Jacksonland
The school year and basketball season have hit their stride and should remain there until sometime in mid-March.
With that in mind, the Wheel of Time has turned to
Just in case you don’t know, Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by A Daily Rhythm. Anyone can play along! All you have to do is grab the book you’re currently reading, open to a random page and share a few sentences from that page. But make sure you don’t share any spoilers!*
*I wish I could take credit for this introduction, but I shamelessly stole it from Heather over at bitsnbooks. To help me make amends, you should go check out her blog.
This week’s book is Jacksonland: President Andrew Jackson, Cherokee Chief John Ross. and A Great American Land Grab written by NPR’s Steve Inskeep. For those that listen to him on a daily basis, one can’t help but hear him narrate his own words.
The Truly Random Number Generator send us to page 199:
But in the summer of 1829, Evarts was exactly what
Ross needed: a genuine ally who was willing to fight
alongside him as an equal. Evarts was different than
Henry Clay, who supported Indian rights but also
thought Indians were doomed. While Clay thought
Indians' "disappearance from the human family would
be no great loss to the world," Evarts placed them
on the same level as white men.
In Retrospect
Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation
Author: Joseph J. Ellis.
Although this book adds little new (if anything at all) to the historical record, it is both enjoyable and mostly readable – two qualities which may have helped it win the Pulitzer Prize.
My only fault is the author’s overuse of adjectives and certain phrases – after some time it felt I was reading a fluffed-up report.
4 Stars
Author: Terry Pratchett
This is both the first published Discworld novel & the first novel in the “Rincewind Cycle” – the series of Discworld books detailing the misadventures of the “wizzard” Rincewind.
If you picked up this book after seeing the film The Color of Magic, be aware that this book only covers the first part of the film; for the complete story, you’ll also want The Light Fantastic.
As this is the first book in the series, Pratchett spends a good deal more time (comparatively) discussing the actual mechanics of the Disc. Some may find this dull, while the more science-and-math minded may find such discussion downright enjoyable.
I personally find the Discworld series both witty and funny, but such accolades depend greatly on the individual. Much of Pratchett’s humor is dry and his wit relies on the readers’ knowledge of Earth’s workings and/or mythology.
The Color of Magic is fun as pure fantasy, but also contains splendid nuggets of joy for the more cerebral-minded.
5 Stars
Coming Soon
Disciples: The World War II Missions of the CIA Directors Who Fought for Wild Bill Donovan by Douglas C. Waller
What have you been reading?
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Monday Morning Grievance: Dangerous Drivers
It’s Monday and I haven’t had my coffee.
“Wait!” I hear you cry, “Didn’t you write about idiotic drivers a few weeks ago? Are you too lazy to come up with new material? Have you run dry so soon?”
Fair questions, Dear Reader, but I see a distinction between an idiot driver and a dangerous driver.
The idiotic driver has the ability to change, given proper instruction and negative reinforcement motivation.
A dangerous driver, on the other hand, should quite literally not be allowed to possess a license.
Consider this experience:
I was driving to the store the other day to pick up lunch and some medication for a splitting headache most likely brought on by a sugar high and the subsequent crash (I regret nothing) when I noticed a car driving erratically.
By erratically, I mean the car was driving such that the white line dividing two lanes of traffic flowing in the same direction perfectly bisected the vehicle.
OK, that may have been a bit technical, but I couldn’t think of a way to describe it that wouldn’t result in confusion and/or the wrong image in one’s mind.
Is everyone clear? Any questions to this point?
All right then, moving on.
Not only was this car blocking two lanes of traffic, it was also traveling approximately thirty miles per hour under the speed limit; remember: this is on a busy thoroughfare.
Fun fact: as of 1 January, it is illegal in our state to impede the flow of traffic, even if one is impeding traffic by going the actual, posted speed limit.
Yes, one can be fined for obeying the law if everyone around you is breaking it. I can only imagine what this driver would face.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh yes, the car.
The driver finally turned off the road; unfortunately, he appeared headed toward the same restaurant I wished to patronize.
He entered the nearest entrance, once again taking up both lanes – in this case the enter lane and the exit/turn lane, nearly hitting another patron’s car head-on.
Since he was going even slower than before, I went to the second entrance and approached the order kiosk thingy. As I placed my order, said driver pulled around me and nearly took off my front fender as he merged into the drive-through lane and stopped at the window.
I heard this over the intercom:
This car just pulled up.
[indistinct chatter]
I don’t know they just pulled up to my window. What should I do? What do I tell them? I haven’t been trained for this!
As I pulled forward – making sure to keep a safe distance between myself and the other driver – the car moved away from the pick-up window and into one of those spaces usually reserved for customers whose orders take a bit longer to prepare.
You know, you’re at the window and they’ve got to wait for fresh fries or chicken or something so they ask you to pull forward and someone will bring your order out momentarily.
Anyway, the driver parked in one of those spots with the same dexterity he showed on the open road, managing to get both drivers’-side tires up on a curb approximately six inches high and slamming his fender into the front curbing.
If this is how he always drives, the suspension on that vehicle is probably ruined. Either that, or he keeps a mechanic on retainer.
A woman of an age somewhere between thirty and one hundred emerged from the car and s l o w l y made her way across the parking lot, making sure to stop in front of those cars waiting to exit the lot and get on with their afternoons.
Having just picked up my order and glad the car was no longer a menace to me, I pulled into a space away from the other driver to examine my order – this particular chain has a nasty habit of forgetting the sides of a meal; once, they even forgot half my order! Anyway, this time I was missing necessary condiments for my meal, so I was obliged to go in the store.
The woman had placed a take-out order and was departing as I picked up my missing items.
Now on the alert, I waited until they left. In my rear view mirror, I saw the car back up all the way to the building – narrowly missing two cars in the drive-thru lane – and exit the parking lot in the same manner in which he arrived: taking up both lanes.
He exited onto a side street; one of those with one lane in each direction and a turn lane. He took all three lanes to make a right-hand turn (the lane nearest him) and proceeded down the road exactly as before.
Half the car in the right-hand lane, half the car in the turn lane, and entirely a menace to those around him.
If I ever get this bad, please do the right thing and hide my keys from me. I mean, I have a hard enough time keeping track of them as it is right now; by that point in my life, it should be a simple task indeed.
What’s Annoying You Today?
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Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.
Copper or Fondue ?
Seven years ago today, Krystal and I married (each other, in case that needed clarification).
Copper is the tradition gift for one’s seventh anniversary. But while I am (mostly) tradition, Krystal (most definitely) is not. She gave me:
Yes, it’s a 2012 penny, and this is what she said:
I looked for a new penny on purpose because I knew you’d look at it and say something like “Pennies haven’t been made of copper since 1982; that’s why I collect pennies before 1982 for squishing“.
Well, thanks to you, I already know all of that. I just gave you the penny to see if you’d say it. Muwahahahahaha
We didn’t exchange actual gifts this year, but we did go to our normal anniversary restaurant: The Melting Pot.
As it’s a bit pricey for our normal budget, this is a once-a-year, save-all-year event. We first went to the Melting Pot for our second anniversary, and we missed last year due to finances as Krystal was out of work, making this our Fifth Fondue-versary. We’ve never been disappointed.
Our server for the evening was Emily, who just so happened to be a first-year high school history teacher! As we arrived early in the evening, the restaurant was not yet busy so Krystal and I were able to spend some time giving her tips for surviving the first year.
But now, on to the good stuff.
The Menu
Cheese Course
Bourbon Bacon Cheddar – cheddar cheese, lager beer, mustard powder, garlic, bacon, Worcestershire, and a splash of bourbon.
Dippers included white & brown bread, carrots, tomatoes, and green apples.
Salad Course
Krystal ordered the Caesar Salad – Romaine lettuce, Parmesan cheese, croutons, Parmesan-crusted pine nuts, Caesar dressing.
I had the House Salad – Iceberg lettuce, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, croutons, and a thinly sliced egg tossed with tangy house dressing.
I didn’t take a picture of the salads.
Main Course
We chose the bourguigonne fondue, a European-style fondue in canola oil that came with tempura and sesame batters.
We chose two different plates to mix and match our tastes:
The French Quarter – Cajun-spice-crusted filet mignon, chicken breast, and Pacific white shrimp along with andouille sausage.
I liked the chicken, but the sausage was only so-so. Growing up near authentic German & Polish delicatessens ruined me in that regard.
The Pacific Rim – Teriyaki- marinated sirloin, honey orange duck breast, more Pacific white shrimp, and chicken potstickers.
Krystal had the shrimp as I find it disgusting.
The duck is best, especially with an orange-cranberry-teriyaki glaze.
The plates also came with vegetables, including mushrooms, broccoli, and potatoes. The stuffed mushrooms once can make are second only to the duck.
Dessert
Around this time the manager came over to our table with an anniversary card from the Melting Pot staff. Such a nice touch!
We saw a new-to-us chocolate on the menu: tiramisu – espresso mousse & ladyfingers blended in creamy milk chocolate. It tasted just like tiramisu should.
As we also had a gift card, we decided to splurge a little more and get an “enhanced” dipper plate with out dessert. In addition to the usual bits of pound cake, blondies, and brownies and the slices of strawberries, bananas, and pineapple and whole marshmallows, we also received a large slice of rich chocolate-caramel cheesecake, two cream puffs, and rolled gaufrettes (a potato-flour wafer).
Worth every penny.
But Wait, There’s More!
A few weeks ago I received an email with a voucher good for a take-home box of hand-dipped chocolate covered strawberries.
They survived the two-hour-plus trip home and tasted delicious.
Until next year, Melting Pot . . .
Have a suggestion for a poem, photograph, or future post?
Drop a note in the prompt box!
Don’t forget to follow me on:
Facebook – where I share news stories, articles from other blogs, and various and sundry miscellany that happens to catch my eye. It’s stuff you won’t see here! Well, mostly.
Instagram – where I show you my Life in Motion and share quotes and such. The widget only shows my last three photographs – don’t you want to see them all?
Twitter – where you can see my thoughts in 140 characters or less. Also, funny retweets.
Going Round & Round
I don’t need to walk around in circles
El Oso – “Circles”
Once we possessed infinite time,
exploring new worlds and taming dragons
between dawn’s first light and doorbell chime.
Now bound by the hands of the clock –
the unrelenting taskmaster of the day –
we work to live and live to work.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Running In My Head 