A Game of Monopoly Played by Machines

So, Elon Musk thinks it probable our reality is merely the simulation run by other beings.

Fine. Whatever.

I’ve come to my own theory.

You see, the other day, I needed a duplicate key made.

Until recently, I had a local locksmith two blocks down and two blocks over; they relocated to a better, high-traffic area and business is booming for them. Good on ’em, I say.

Anyway, not knowing exactly where they were now and needing this key in a hurry, I dropped in my local big box hardware store only to discover they don’t cut keys anymore. Rather, I was directed to a large machine declaring itself to be “minuteKEY: the world’s first ever self-service, fully automated duplication kiosk.” A sign guaranteed keys cut in under a minute.

I followed the on-screen instructions for inserting my key, selecting a style, and payment. Indeed, my key was cut in under a minute, although the entire process took around 5 minutes.

When my key dropped out, I thought there’d been a mistake.

“This looks like a toy, a child’s plaything,” I thought. “There’s no way this is opening any doors; it’ll break off in the lock!”

But I took it home and tried it out, and amazingly the key worked.

Krystal came home and I showed her the key.

“It looks like a monopoly piece or something that comes in the mail from a used car dealership,” she said.

This comment meant that, for the next few days, whenever I opened the door I shouted “It Worked! We won!” But then I was told the joke was old, so I stopped.

But that comment about monopoly really stuck with me. What if Musk is right (I think he’s wrong, FWIW) and were in some simulation? Did our machine overlords decide to upgrade a property and give me this newfangled key?

Well, here’s hoping they don’t go bankrupt.

Wait, what if that’s why I lost previous sets of keys?


And I really hope they don’t overturn the Monopoly board like Marx.

Marx Plays Monopoly

This comic is from the brilliant mind behind existential comics, which you should totally check out if you like philosophy or humor (and who doesn’t?!)


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