One Year in the Rearview Mirror

Today is My “Pandemic Anniversary” – let’s get reflective and introspective.

One year ago, I was taking high school students on a field trip; the decision to close school “for two weeks” was made as we traveled back.

We never reopened that school year.

One year ago, it was the last time I saw students in person; I resigned my position in July and did not return.

One year ago, I was trying to convince some friends and family to take the coronavirus more seriously; now most of them wear masks whenever they leave the house, even if they’re only going to pump gas and won’t be seeing anyone else.

One year ago, I was not in a good place mentally or physically.

There were many reasons for that, which I won’t go into here or at this time, but . . . but my ampersand tattoo means so much more than I could ever put into words.

If there’s a silver lining in any of the dumpster fire that followed March 13, 2020, it’s that I was able to leave so much toxicity in my life behind. 

A few weeks ago, a friend commented, “You’ve changed since 2016, and quite a bit in 2020, but you’ve always been authentic about your changes. You haven’t gone off the rails, you’ve committed to living your life according to the principles you’ve long claimed to believe, and that means you had to leave some things behind.”

If you want more of that conversation, stay tuned for an upcoming Sectarian Review podcast.

I had friends tell me they’re glad I made the changes I did. Some have described my last year as a transformation; others said they were worried I’d drop dead of a heart attack if things didn’t change. 

I joked that I was a tightly wound ball of stress held together by caffeine and spite. 

Except it wasn’t a joke.

And now I find myself in a much different place than I was a year ago. 

I managed to find a new job in the midst of a pandemic. Or rather, the job found me – that’s a story in and of itself.

I made new friends who encouraged me in ways I never thought possible. 

Someday I hope to share that more with you, but for now it’s still very personal; I want to treasure it a bit longer before releasing it into the world.

And I know I haven’t posted as much on here as I once did. I don’t know what that means. Hardly a week goes by that I don’t think about posting something, and then think “but what do I have to write about?” and wind up saying nothing. 

But I think about the friends I’ve made and the accounts I recognize and I wonder how they’re doing. 

After so much time apart, I’m ready to come back. 

I might just post about what I’m reading, or go back to the Saturday Morning Coffees, or . . . I don’t know. But I’m not ready to leave this blog behind entirely.

When I named this blog “Running In My Head” I had no idea how apt it would be. I’ve gone through phases of poetry and photography and cooking and literature and writing a book and cosplay and all the little things that help round out a person, give them dimension. 

I look forward to the next phase, and hope you’ll join me, whatever that may look like.