Category: Life

Alas, Poor Yorkie

Behold, fair citizen, the distressing headline of our age:

After a Deal, British Chocolates Won’t Cross the Pond

I ask: what treachery is this?

This bold act brings to mind a similar case of some years ago.

Perhaps you’ve heard of the Townshend Acts?

No?

Your education has been sadly neglected.

You must have heard of the Boston Tea Party, then?

ACR Boston Tea Party
Or – at the very least – played Assassin’s Creed: Revelations?

Let the known facts be made clear:

An American company making substandard chocolate experienced a few bad quarters.

Hershey Sign
Probably because they keep making bad pips.

OK, so chocolate humor isn’t my thing. I make no apologies.

Do they improve the product?

No! They eliminate the competition.

Strike that.

They eliminate the competition.

They convince the American government to eliminate the competition.

Monopoly Board Close Up
This seemed appropriate for reasons I just can’t put my finger on . . .

No more British chocolate!

Say no to disgustingly higher-quality ingredients!

Berate the atrociously short shelf-life!

Ignore the tremendously superior flavor!

‘Murica!

Oh, but we’re protecting Hershey, an iconic American business!

I imagine they said the same about the East India Company.

East India Co
They, too, were “too big to fail,” and look what that got them . . .

Imagine the savings – you won’t be paying nearly as much!

Hmm . . . you think the colonists didn’t think of that?

The inhabitants . . . who but a few months ago were in ease and affluence, have now, no other alternative than to stay and starve, or turn and beg. Endangered by the fire of their friends if they continue within the city, and plundered by the soldiery if they leave it. In their present condition they are prisoners without the hope of redemption, and in general attack for their relief, they would be exposed to the fury of both armies.

~ Thomas Paine, Common Sense (1776)

Huh . . . seems they valued liberty over artificial savings.

Imagine that!

Does it really matter where your chocolate comes from as long as you get it?

Yes. Yes it does.

I am sick and tired of a government hell-bent on declaring what I can and cannot spend my money on.

You must by health insurance, even if you can’t afford it. If you don’t, we’ll fine you.

You may not buy British chocolate, even if you want to. Because we said so!

John Locke Dont Tell Me What I Cant DoWhy, hello there!

John Locke, meet John Locke:

John Locke
The end of law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom.

Where does the madness end?

What other countries will fall foul of America’s predilection for cheap, low-quality merchandise?

Look out, China!

You know what, I don’t even particularly care for British chocolate.

You know what I like:

KInderschokoladeBut I’m not too naive to see the writing on the wall:

First Britain, then Germany.

Today: chocolate

Tomorrow: cookies

Deutscher Lebkuchen
Not the lebkuchen . . .

It is time for the fair citizens of this land to rise up against the gastronomic tyranny being imposed upon us!

That is, if we can get off the couch to begin with . . .

Sleep of Death

The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

As a matter of fact, I was only mostly dead – I mean sick.

PB Mostly DeadAnd mostly dead is slightly alive . . .

I don’t get sick, except when I do.

According to my wife, I act like a baby when I’m sick.

Except that I don’t.

So there!

Neener! Neener!

I actually took something stronger than acetaminophen – always a risky venture. What might happen this time?

Six hours of hallucinations?

Three days of amnesia-ridden drunken stupor?

Death-like sleep?

None of the above, thank goodness.

MPHG I Got BetterI got better . . .

However, somewhere in that medication-induced bliss of recovery, I became inspired.

First, I found inspiration for a book. It combines my post “Haunted” and the inventory given me by @youarecarrying. Its raw form was inspired by Cloud Atlas, A Burnable Book, and M. Night Shyamalan. I haven’t quite decided if that’s good or bad.

Second, I decided to embark on a quest: a real-time version of Divine Comedy in tweet form. Look for it to begin on Good Friday! The handle and hashtag are in development. In fact, suggestions would be appreciated . . .

Third, I settled on a theme for my monthly “big idea” posts: Manifesto. Some time ago, Daily Prompt asked us to write a manifesto, and I never quite got around to it. Rather than write one extremely long post, I’ll break it into manageable sections. Look for Part 1 sometime before February!

So, what have you been up to?

Circular Reasoning

Circle of Chairs

 

Why are the chairs in a circle?

I moved them.

Can we really sit anywhere?

Yes, as long as it’s in the circle.

What are we going to do today?

Just wait til everyone gets here.

How will we have class if we can’t see the board?

Don’t worry about the board.

Does this have to do with our Current Event?

Yes. I want to have some class discussion.

But I don’t know if my topic is important!

What if someone else takes my theme?

We’ll work through it; that’s why I’m here.

What if someone makes fun of me?

I’ll deal with it. This is a Judgement-Free Zone.

 

So, who want’s to go first?

 

Michael Brown, Eric Gardner, and what it means to be an American minority

Liberty Cant Breathe

 

Charlie Hebdo, Ferguson protests, and the Freedom of Speech

7 January 2015

 

President Obama’s community college program, what it offers, and who will pay for it

 

Malaysia Airlines, terror threats, and aviophobia

Malaysia Air

Every Minute

Every Class

Every Period

 

When can we do this again?

Je Suis Charlie

Free speech: we take it for granted every day.

Blogging

Facebook

Reddit

Tumblr

Twitter

We log on and sound off, blissfully unaware words have consequences.

Others suffer and die for speaking out

Against leaders

Against cartels

Against inequality

Have we forgotten the Arab Spring?

Censors are cowards living in fear of ideas other than their own.

And when threats aren’t enough . . .

Today, the free world unites under one slogan:

We Are CharlieWe are Charlie Hebdo

At least, until we don’t

Until we forget that words have power

Until we must decide whether we want freedom or safety, responsibility or comfort, liberty or servitude

V Ideas Are Bulletproof

I Went Hunting This Year

I went hunting this year.

Some of you already stopped reading.

That’s okay.

 

Growing up in Pennsylvania, hunting was a way of life.

PA hunter-trapper patchOur rite of passage: the hunter’s safety course. (100%, thank you very much.)

A special holiday: schools closing on the first day of rifle season.

A test: waking up before dawn to sit in subfreezing temperatures hoping, praying, or – in my sister’s and my case – dancing for the deer to come. We called it the “OK, Deer. You Can Come Now” dance.

Celebration: a photograph of our first deer televised on the local news station. My deer didn’t make it; my turkey, though . . .

Pennsylvania Outdoor Life on WNEP

The same station that brought you the “Apparently” Kid

Reward: meat in the freezer. Horns on the wall (maybe). Head mounts? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Then I moved – college, you know. I didn’t hunt for 4 years.

I moved again – marriage, you know. I hunted off and on for the past 6 years.

 

Never got anything.

 

300 savage pump
I hunt with a .300 Savage similar to this one

 

Until this year.

 

This year I harvested a doe and a buck – and found a slightly different perspective.

 

Some readers may find the following descriptions and photos distasteful.

Consider yourself warned.

 

I stood over my first harvest – the doe – and understood why Native Peoples thanked animals for their sacrifice. This doe had been alive moments before; I could feel the heat coming off her. I found myself praying she didn’t suffer. I never thought these thoughts when I was younger.

I had the meat processed into burger – 22 pounds, to be exact.

Enough to fill the freezer.

 

I was invited to go out again on the last day of the season – processing (if any) would be taken care of.

With two minutes remaining a buck walked out – literally under my stand. I couldn’t take a shot without shooting through the floor, so I waited. Seconds passed; I started to think: Should I take a shot?

I’ve never harvested a buck before; but as I’ve always said, you can’t eat antlers.

I had plenty of burger, but didn’t have any roasts.Would it be worth it?

It was getting late. What if I only wounded it and then couldn’t find it?

 

Then he started to run and I had to make a choice.

I took the shot – and missed.my first buck

He turned. I had time to make another shot.

I took it – he went down.

 

Then came the processing.

My uncle and I processed the whole thing.

It was gross; it was disgusting.

It was necessary.

It looked something like this:

hams 2015

 

I’m not sure how to say it. I enjoyed the hunt, but it wasn’t fun. I derived no pleasure from killing these animals, although I’m thankful for the meat in my freezer. And my in-law’s freezer. And my uncle’s freezer.

I could never hunt for sport.

Contrary to PETA’s website, most hunters don’t hunt for “recreation.” It’s true: many don’t rely on hunting to survive, but those lucky enough to harvest an animal won’t have to buy that at the grocery. Case in point: this year “cost” me $146.  I only had to pay for my license and processing of the first deer, and those monies were given as gifts. This means I paid about $2.43 per pound of meat; try buying burger or roast from the deli for that price. I should have no need to buy beef for the next year.

Neither is hunting a necessity. I won’t starve because I didn’t get a deer.

But, hunting makes things easier; my bank account can stretch a bit further.

These are things I didn’t think of before.

Hunting: natural and organic.

Very Circle of Life, don’t you think?

circle of life quote

Resolved: 2015

calvin-hobbes-new-years-resolutions-572x433Calvin and Hobbes ~ Bill Watterson

I (usually) avoid New Year’s Resolutions. However, this past year brought tremendous change (both good and not-so-good). The biggest change: I’m done with stupid. With that in mind, in 2015 I resolve to:

Be Less Negative and Avoid Negative People

negative film roll redI wouldn’t call myself a killjoy, but I’ve been told I have a tendency to suck the life out of the room by criticizing everything: books, movies, opinions – you name it. What I view as offering my opinion or starting a conversation others see as insufferable arrogance or a superiority complex. I’m sorry; I didn’t realize I was projecting that attitude. But now that I know, I’ll try to do better.

As humans, we tend to reflect the people we hang around with (or follow on social media). That means I might have to unfollow or mute some people; I’ll reserve unfriending (both online and in person) or deleting (definitely not in person as I’m not a Cyberman) for those rare, extreme cases.

Live A Healthier Lifestyle

IMG_0432Confession Time: I haven’t run at all since my last marathon . . . in November of 2013. That’s going to change. My wife has been encouraging me to run, and she’s right: I’m a much more pleasant person to be around when I’m not stressed and annoyed with literally everything. She’s also been instrumental in our eating healthier thanks to her own life change back in June. But, that’s a different story that’s not mine to share. I think she posted some of it on her blog.

Lighten Up

I suppose this goes back to being a less negative person, but I tend to take things way too seriously. Most of the people in my life tend to be spontaneous

Hey! We’ve nothing to do; want to go take random pictures downtown?

Me Downtown v2whereas I’m the kind of person who plans everything out – sometimes to the minute.

I said we needed to leave at 8:30. It is now 8:31.

Are you trying to make me have a bad day?!

Yes, I have actually said this. Unfortunately.

Manage Time Better

widget gearsI’m not easily distracted. However, I don’t always make the best choices in what I focus on. Most things are fine in moderation, but I’ve been known to spend hours on social media or binge watch Netflix. Disclaimer: Yes, I watched the entire season of House of Cards the day it was released. Both times. It’s even worse if I find a show I haven’t watched before but has multiple seasons [cough]Warehouse 13[cough].

However, I want to spend my time more profitably. I guess this brings me to some sub-resolutions:

Listen to More Music / Podcasts

Der Ring Cover Art

I love classical music, but it’s been quite some time since I simply made time to listen without any distractions (like grading papers or writing blog posts). I will make more time to listen to the things I enjoy: namely, German opera. My current iTunes balance is just $15 short of being able to purchase the 1990/1991 recording of Der Ring des Nibelungen.

I could say the same with my podcasts: Good Mythical Morning, Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me!, Serial, Science Friday, Stuff You Missed in History Class, Stuff You Should Know, Ask Me Another, A Prairie Home Companion, and I’ve subscribed to NPR’s new release: Invisibilia. I listen to them while I’m doing other things and fail to enjoy them for themselves. That’s going to change.

Podcasts Dec 2014Write More / Contribute More

notebookI want to publish at least one blog post per week and write about something important at least once a month. I’ve generally avoided more difficult subjects fearing I’d anger someone. But I’ve come to realize that I’d anger someone no matter what I said. Some things cannot be left unsaid.

I want to write something lengthy. NaNoWriMo, anyone?

I also want to get out and contribute to others’ blogs. Too often I leave a “like” or some trite comment. I want to have conversations with meaning. Practically, this means I’ll also have to

Read More

LeatherBooksI’ll read more blogs and tackle my TBR. Since life is too short for bad or uninteresting books, I’ll also do something I’ve never done before: willingly give up on a book. I even made a shelf on goodreads for “abandoned/DNF” books. Radical, I know. For the record, my goodreads goal for new books read in 2015 is 78. I may even post some reviews here!

In the end, what I’m really striving for in 2015 is something we all want:

Be A Better Person

How we get there is up to us.

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