Monday Morning Grievance: You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out!

I could have taken a hint from Ralphie . . .

It’s Monday & I haven’t had my coffee.

A few weeks ago we had an ice storm. OK, so it was a freezing rainstorm. Either way, I came home to find my heating unit chugging away like the Little Engine That Could. However, by the sound of things, it was fast on the way to becoming the Little Engine That Died Trying.

I didn’t grow up with electrical heating units; in our house we had a wood stove supplemented with an oil-based forced air system. OK, so the furnace ran on electricity and burned oil. What I’m trying to say is that I am unaccustomed to the type of unit I currently have.

I do know enough to know that ice buildup is a bad thing, so I called my father-in-law to ask what I should do.

Shut off the fan.

Knock off the ice on the exterior, but don’t damage the fins.

OK, what are the fins?

They’re your intake vents.

Then, get some warm water – not hot, you don’t want to warp things – and pour it over the fan.

OK, got it.

I got my 12-quart (11.3562 liter) soup pot and filled it with slightly-above-room-temperature water.

I grabbed my stepladder and took both outside.

I found a hammer on my porch.

I climbed up on the stepladder and proceeded to knock the ice with the hammer.

You already know what I forgot to do, right?

Yeah, I forgot to turn off the fan.

MOM THERE WAS THIS ICICLE AND IT FELL OF THE GARAGE AND IT HIT ME IN THE EYE AND IT BROKE MY GLASSES!

But instead of all this I thought:

Crap. I knew I forgot to do something. I wonder how bad my eye looks?

It looked like I had a case of pinkeye and stung like the dickens for two days.

It could have been worse.