Saturday Morning Coffee: Treason & Baking & Things Going *SNICK* in the Night

I’m so glad you stopped by for a chat! Despite the continually rising temperature, I’m still making coffee – and Krystal calls me crazy for it. Of course I’m crazy for coffee – I’m addicted! “No,” she replies, “I mean your crazy for even thinking of the stuff in this weather.” Of course, if you’d rather tea or juice I can do that, too. 

I already gave you a rundown of what I did for the Fourth of July; I was a loyalist, of course! The heat must have addled my brain (no joke), because I didn’t really tell you the best parts. Of course, there were the questions:

Aren’t you hot in that getup? [Of course it’s hot in here. I’m wearing a layer of cotton, a layer of linen, and a layer of wool in July in North Carolina. What do you think?] “Why, no more than anyone else. Isn’t it splendid to see everyone dressed out today? I can’t complain; most of the fabric came from my shop!” And, even though I portrayed an actual historic person with a real background, no one even questioned my statement.

Are the clothes real? No; they’re a figment of your imagination and I’m actually running around buck naked. Thankfully, I didn’t have to respond to this; the questioner’s companion answered for me: “Of course they’r real! You can see him sweating through all the layers!” Um . . . thanks?

Can I take a picture with you? “Of course!”

Will you tell my son there are no alligators in the river? I actually said what was in my mind: “While I doubt there is any such creature within snapping distance of young sir, I must be candid and tell you I saw an alligator with my very own eyes not one mile away three weeks ago.” The mother looked mortified, the son nervous, and the dad tried his best not to laugh. For the record, here’s the alligator:

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For the past several months, I’ve been working on a series of skits for our church’s annual Vacation Bible School. As has become tradition, I baked apple pies for a group dinner. As has also become tradition, I end up baking on the hottest day of the year to-date: heat index of 103F and the oven turned on to 400. Of course, the next day was hotter still, with a heat index of 106; that’s the day I brought a new-to-me mattress and box spring into the house.

The last several evenings I’ve been perplexed by a mysterious noise. It’s hard to describe – nearest I can do is a plastic-like snick. I tried walking around to find it, to no avail: the sound only happened when I was otherwise engaged.

Of course, this should have tipped me off that Smokey had something to do with it. Turns out I had left a bowl of Doritos out while cleaning and forgotten to clean it up. He had found the bowl, and rather than dump everything on the floor,   v e r y   c a r e f u l l y   picked one chip out at a time with his paw and   v e r y   s l o w l y   ate it, hoping I wouldn’t notice. I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head at his ingenuity.

 

 

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Those mysterious personal projects I keep talking about are progressing nicely; in fact, I made significant progress on two of them this week. I can’t tell you anything about one of them, but I can give you a clue as to the other.

Suffice it to say Gorilla brand super glue really works. I felt like I’d grown a very uncomfortable exoskeleton on my fingers. Also, there comes a point when the humidity won’t allow paint to dry. I forgot this until I went to pick up something I’d painted. Ah well.

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Today I’m hoping to mow the lawn, since it really, really needs it. My neighbor has mowed his twice since the last time I mowed mine. Yeah, it’s really past due.

So, what have you been up to?