Down the Toilet?

Yesterday was going great . . . until things started to go down the toilet.


A panel of aluminum siding broke free and threatened to come off.

I fixed it before the storm by getting up at 7:00 and nailing it into place.

While my wife was trying to sleep off a migraine.



The internet guy arrived exactly on time.


He called before he came.

He completed the install in under an hour.

He ran wire from the street and under the house.

He attached a box to the house.

He showed me how to work the system.


He didn’t clean up after himself the way the video claimed he would.

Which turned out to be a blessing:

Wife couldn’t connect her tablet to the WiFi.

For what it’s worth, she fixed it without me.



It rained, and we need the water.

But it made me have to go to the bathroom.

When I came out, my wedding ring was gone.


I’d had it moments before as I packed up my laptop.

Not There.


Soapy water made my hands slick, maybe it was in the sink.

No Luck.


Perhaps it got stuck in that little divot in the toilet –

the one right before water enters the p-trap.



Maybe – just maybe – it settled out in the grease trap.

Conveniently uncovered due to a previous backup.

Definitely not.

Also, gross.

Very gross.


At that point Wife called.

Where are you? Mr. Tom’s ready to eat.


I told her.


Look [she said] it’s just a ring.

A sterling silver ring we got at Wal-Mart.

A ring with no special engraving.


I know you’re upset, but it’s nothing to worry about.

These things happen.

Look at it this way: now you can get one that actually fits.


Now, if it had been my ring, it’d be a different story.

And it would be.

Her rings are much more expensive.

Just as they should be.

In my opinion, anyway.


Later that night:

I can’t believe you flushed it; how dumb!

She’s picking at me – she isn’t being mean.


This morning:

I get up to make her scrambled eggs.

She gets up to get dressed.

She looks for a sweater – it’s cold where she works.

My ring falls out of the sweater.

The sweater that was with her yesterday.

The sweater that wasn’t even in the house when I lost the ring.




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